These Darn Emotions

It’s probably better if I just steer clear of blogging when I’m in a mood, but writing usually helps me work things out, so here I am.  Nothing like working it out in public for all the world to see.  Oh well, I’ve never been much of a private person.  Take me or leave me.  Judge me if you will, but all I want is to be real.  I’ve never been good at faking it.

I just hate it when I’m like this ~ a bundle of worries, frustration, and negativity.  I’m much happier when I’m happier.  No duh!  (Heh, I haven’t used that expression in ages).  I can’t even blame my hormones this time.  So what gives?!  (Oh, there’s another ancient phrase).  Guess I’m just chock full of out-dated little gems today.

Here’s the most frustrating part of this thing… I know what to do when I’m like this.  But I don’t feel like doing it.  I feel like being negative, sarcastic, and cynical.  I feel like ranting and raging about all that vexes me.  I feel like punching something or someone.  And I’m not a violent person.  Wait!  There it is!  That’s it.  I found it!  That’s what’s really bothering.  Oh it’s so good to get to the heart of the matter isn’t it?!  See, I knew writing would help.  Someone has hurt me.  Not exactly a newsflash, but I realize I’m turning that hurt into anger.  I’m just so sick of hurting.  Oh man am I ever sick of it.  It’s really starting to tick me off.  Gosh!

It’s okay to be angry when someone hurts you, but what in the world am I supposed to do with this anger?  The person who hurt me is too far away to punch in the face.  Not that I would really even do that.  I can dream about it though.  Hah!  No, when it comes down to it, I think the bigger issue here is that I’m angry with myself.  Angry that I opened up my heart and allowed myself to get hurt, when I should have known better.  Angry that I’m still holding onto hope that things will change, when it’s clear that it won’t.  Angry that I feel so fricken pathetic!

If only life was more like a movie… we’d all get our happy endings. </3

~

So what now?  I’ve realized what’s going on, but still don’t know what to do with this anger…

Maybe watching this might help ~ it’s one of my favorites.  And since I seem to be on a roll with punching…

Eh, didn’t really do much for me this time.  Hopefully ya’ll enjoyed it though.  But see… I am trying to snap myself out of this mood.  Guess I just have to feel this way until… I don’t anymore.  Yeah, that’s real enlightening ~ “until I don’t anymore.”  Sheesh!   In the meantime I should probably just crawl under a rock so I don’t do/say anything I’ll regret.  Already regretting posting this.

~

This rock looks as comfy as any other for crawling under…

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