It’s probably better if I just steer clear of blogging when I’m in a mood, but writing usually helps me work things out, so here I am. Nothing like working it out in public for all the world to see. Oh well, I’ve never been much of a private person. Take me or leave me. Judge me if you will, but all I want is to be real. I’ve never been good at faking it.
I just hate it when I’m like this ~ a bundle of worries, frustration, and negativity. I’m much happier when I’m happier. No duh! (Heh, I haven’t used that expression in ages). I can’t even blame my hormones this time. So what gives?! (Oh, there’s another ancient phrase). Guess I’m just chock full of out-dated little gems today.
Here’s the most frustrating part of this thing… I know what to do when I’m like this. But I don’t feel like doing it. I feel like being negative, sarcastic, and cynical. I feel like ranting and raging about all that vexes me. I feel like punching something or someone. And I’m not a violent person. Wait! There it is! That’s it. I found it! That’s what’s really bothering. Oh it’s so good to get to the heart of the matter isn’t it?! See, I knew writing would help. Someone has hurt me. Not exactly a newsflash, but I realize I’m turning that hurt into anger. I’m just so sick of hurting. Oh man am I ever sick of it. It’s really starting to tick me off. Gosh!
It’s okay to be angry when someone hurts you, but what in the world am I supposed to do with this anger? The person who hurt me is too far away to punch in the face. Not that I would really even do that. I can dream about it though. Hah! No, when it comes down to it, I think the bigger issue here is that I’m angry with myself. Angry that I opened up my heart and allowed myself to get hurt, when I should have known better. Angry that I’m still holding onto hope that things will change, when it’s clear that it won’t. Angry that I feel so fricken pathetic!
If only life was more like a movie… we’d all get our happy endings. </3
So what now? I’ve realized what’s going on, but still don’t know what to do with this anger…
Maybe watching this might help ~ it’s one of my favorites. And since I seem to be on a roll with punching…
Eh, didn’t really do much for me this time. Hopefully ya’ll enjoyed it though. But see… I am trying to snap myself out of this mood. Guess I just have to feel this way until… I don’t anymore. Yeah, that’s real enlightening ~ “until I don’t anymore.” Sheesh! In the meantime I should probably just crawl under a rock so I don’t do/say anything I’ll regret. Already regretting posting this.
This rock looks as comfy as any other for crawling under…