Winter Rain

Winter rains fall like the tears from my eyes

cold drops slap against the window glass

cruel and harsh

 slowly sliding down the surface

weeping

mirroring the lament of my broken heart.

© Julie Rehnelt 2013

~

Shattered Dreams

Shattered dreams like broken glass

the fragments cut deep, raw emotion pours out

spilling angry tears, choking sobs, grief, confusion, regret,

making this heart feel fragile and want to close up tight.

~

Profound sorrow like mourning a death

the loss of a love before it was given a chance to fully blossom

twas such a beautiful, meaningful connection, special, unique,

making this heart feel broken and become undone.

~

With the prophecy left unfulfilled

all faith and hope in dreams is gone.

© Julie Rehnelt 2013

~

Knit Nut

I learned how to knit over the holidays and now I can’t seem to stop.  It has such a wonderful, therapeutic motion and rhythm to it.  I even like the sound that the knitting needles make as they touch together.  🙂  I have always enjoyed working with my hands and so doing this knitting thing just feels really good to me.

I’m not entirely that great at it, however.  It takes a certain bit of finesse to remain consistent with the amount of tension you use on the yarn.  Oh… but speaking of the yarn… who knew there were so many completely delicious textures, colors, and varieties of yarn?!

I decided I wanted to learn how to knit on a whim.  I was browsing around at a thrift store one day when I noticed some navy blue colored yarn nestled among some of the other random crafting items on one of the shelves.  It wasn’t especially nice yarn, but the blue color of it reminded me of someone special and for some reason I suddenly got the urge to learn to knit with it.  My sister knows how to knit and she was there with me so I asked her if I forked out the whole 50 cents for the yarn and some knitting needles if she would teach me how to knit, and she said she’d be more than happy to oblige.  My big sis has taught me so many things over the years… from quilting, to beading, to canning homemade jam, and now knitting, she’s the best!

Well, it’s a good thing I had some cheap stuff to practice with because it ended up being quite challenging for me at first and had I used a more expensive yarn, it would have been a waste of money.  Nothing worthwhile other than experience came out of that navy blue yarn and I have since pulled out all of the practice stitches and rolled it into a nice little ball for my kitties to play with.

The easiest thing I could think of to learn to knit was a scarf, but even that isn’t as simple as one would think.  After practicing a bit with my thrift store yarn, I went out and bought this absolutely scrumptious yarn from the craft supply store.  It’s so unbelievably soft, and the scarf I made with it is so warm and cozy and… deformed.

My sis failed to tell me until I was finished with it that you have to periodically count the stitches as you’re going along with each row and keep the same number as to keep it the same size/shape throughout.  I know that may seem like common sense, but I’m a knitting noob and didn’t know that, so my first scarf turned out looking quite misshaped.  It’s unfortunate too because I kinda had someone else in mind that I wanted to give it to once it was finished, but I didn’t because it ended up being so deformed.

For some reason every time I tried to take a photo of the scarf by itself I couldn’t get it to show up very well, but one day when I was wearing it and my daughter and I were out and about, she had me stand over in front of some trees so she could try and take a picture of it for me.  I look a bit silly and the overall lighting in this photo is a little off, but the scarf shows up nicely.  And you can’t even tell it’s deformed.  🙂

But even deformed, this scarf is seriously the snuggliest thing ever.

~

Well, I couldn’t stop there, so off I went back to the craft supply store to get more yarn.  This time around I picked out a lovely purple colored blend with a fun knobby, fuzzy texture to it.  With this yarn too I had yet another someone else in mind to make a scarf for, but because my first one had turned out so badly, I still wanted to practice a bit more, so I made one for myself with it first.

Knowing now to count the stitches as I went along resulted in a more uniform shaped scarf, but I still made a few bloopers which caused looser parts here and there, so it’s a good thing the style and texture of the yarn helps hide them nicely.  😉

I failed at trying to take a decent photo of this one too, so I stole this picture off of Facebook of my dear friend wearing the nearly identical one I knitted for her (she is the one I originally planned the purple yarn for :)).  And because this was the third scarf I made, it’s somewhat of an “improved model” with fewer bloopers.  And speaking of “models” the one in this photo looks quite stunning in her new scarf don’t you think?

I love her to pieces!  Warm, fuzzy, and purpley hugs to your neck, my friend!  ♥

But like I said… be careful because those little fuzzies really like to get stuck to your lip gloss and tangled up in your eyelashes.  😉

~

So now I was on a roll, with three scarves under my belt, maybe I should expand my knitting horizons and try and knit something a bit more complicated ~ mittens, a hat, or socks maybe?  No, I’m afraid I’m still feeling very much like a beginner and really not quite confident enough yet to attempt any of those.  So what did I do… I knitted another scarf, of course.  😉

On this trip to the craft supply store I surprised and confused myself because I chose to get some red yarn.  For one thing, red is not a typical color that I tend toward.  For anything.  I don’t often wear red and there are only certain shades of red that I even like.  But here as I was ooo-ing and ahhh-ing over all of the wonderful different varieties and colors of yarn to choose from, suddenly out of nowhere this red yarn starts crying out in a loud voice “Pick me!  Pick me!”  I argued with myself over it for a little while, but for some reason I just couldn’t resist it.  So weird.  My sis was with me and knowing me quite well, she too was surprised at my selection of red.  But sometimes you just have to “follow the force, Luke” even when it doesn’t make sense, so in the end that red yarn went home with me.

As I worked with it I completely fell in love with it, the deep rich color and the simple texture.  And the scarf I made with it is my favorite of all the scarves I have made so far.  I’m not even sure why.  The first scarf is definitely the coziest and the purple scarf is most certainly the prettiest (purple is my favorite color), but this red one… this red one, I just really especially adore.

In the end I’ve just decided that maybe it was meant to be a Valentine’s gift to myself ~ it is red after all.  😉  I also ended up using it to take a Valentiney photo of myself wearing it to give to my special someone for Valentine’s day.  ♥

It’s just a plain, ordinary looking scarf, not anything special, but for some reason I just really love it.  And it’s so weird because I don’t usually like the color red, but this scarf feels like me…

~

I am currently in the process of knitting yet another scarf.  Not for myself, but for someone else.  I think three scarves for myself is enough, don’t you?  Well, maybe not.  😉  I still haven’t moved onto learning to knit anything else or learned any other stitches except for the basic knitting stitch yet, but my sister has plans to teach me more.  She better hurry though because I think I may be moving out of knitting mode soon; for spring is coming.  Knitting is a great indoor winter activity and I have been enjoying it immensely, but spring means ~ gardening!

Winter is so long and oh how I miss my garden and all of the green and growing things.  I can’t wait to get back out there and play in the dirt…

~

♥~ Love is in the Air ~ ♥

I’m having mixed feelings about Valentines Day this year.  It can be a difficult holiday when you don’t have a special someone to share the day with or when you aren’t able to be with the one you love.  And as much as we like to tell ourselves “oh but Valentines Day is about all types love, not just romantic love,” there is still that little twinge of sadness when we don’t have a lover to celebrate this day of love with.  At least that’s how it is for me.  And unfortunately, the one I want to spend my Valentines Day with is an ocean away…

But I’m going to do my best not to feel all down and depressed because I happen to be a HUGE fan of love and an eternally hopeless romantic at heart, so I have decided to do something on my blog for Valentines Day to reflect that.

I come across so many wonderful quotes all the time, many of them about love, and because I’m not feeling especially inspired right now to come up with anything of my own, I thought I would share some of those quotes in addition to some great pictures from deviantArt that I find sweet, passionate, or romantic.

I happened upon this poem a while back and it speaks so much to me.  It’s perfect to start this out with…

“One day your heart will take you to your Lover.
One day your soul will carry you to the Beloved.
Don’t get lost in your pain, know that one day your
pain will become your cure.”

“Love knows not distance; it hath no continent; its eyes are for the stars.”

~

“Love has the power to break all chains – swim the deepest seas – endure the strongest pains.  Love is the glow in the darkest night leading you on until you have sight.”

~

“To love and be loved is to feel the sun from both sides.”

~

“The most precious possession that ever comes to a man in this world is a woman’s heart.”

“Romantic love reaches out in little ways, showing attention and admiration. Romantic love remembers what pleases a woman, what excites her, and what surprises her. Its actions whisper: you are the most special person in my life.”

~

“For it was not into my ear you whispered, but into my heart.  It was not my lips you kissed, but my soul.”

“Love is a smoke made with the fume of sighs, being purged, a fire sparkling in lovers’ eyes, being vexed a sea nourished with lovers’ tears, what is it else?  a madness most discreet, a choking gall, a preserving sweet.”

~

“The best thing to hold onto in life is each other.”

~

“One word frees us of all the weight and pain of life; that word is love.”

~

“Real love isn’t blind.  It sees, sees everything, but loves anyway.”

~

“The throb of life is love. Without it, humans are bodies of bones clad with skin.”

~

“And think not, you can direct the course of love; for love, if it finds you worthy, directs your course.”

~

♥♥♥

Edit:

I came across this video after this post, but I just felt like it was a perfect ending for this.  I am so in love with it!

Communication

Isn’t it wonderful when you read a story or watch a movie that touches your heart in just the right place?  That goes down to that deep place inside of you and resonates in such a way that it actually inspires you to want to do something in your real life or change something in your way of thinking to help make you a better person or improve your life?  Or hasn’t that ever happened to you?  Heck, maybe it’s just me, I know I’m a bit weird and somewhat different from other people.  😉

But seriously, gosh, to be that good of a writer or movie director to be able to tell a story that has that kind of power to truly influence others in that way would be so amazing!  I think it’s all about being able to communicate effectively.  To be able to convey a thought or a feeling using words or pictures and have it reach another person in a way they can understand and relate to.  And there are sooo many different ways to communicate.  Oh how I love when I’m watching a movie and the mere expression in an actor/actress’ eyes tell it all.  Or when I’m reading and the words being used to describe something paint such a vivid picture in my mind that I can actually see it, and feel it.

Being able to communicate in that type of way is truly a gift, I wish I had it.  I have all of one segment written down of a nearly entire story that lives inside my head, and it took such great effort to get it written down and worded somewhat properly that it may never get any further than that.  Trying to write a made-up story is completely different than writing about and sharing the ins and outs of every-day-life type of stuff.

Communicating well and connecting with others is so very important to me, and whether it’s through writing or while talking, I think for the most part I usually do a pretty good job.  Although, every once in a while a misunderstanding or miscommunication is bound to happen.  The key is to be a good listener.  I think I’m a good listener, at least I hope I am.  I know that sometimes I need to be careful not to get so intent about something that I want to share that I fail to listen properly.  I can be a bit on the hyper side at times, especially if I’m excited about something.  😀

But it really is so important to be a good listener.  To me, being a good listener means to sincerely care about the other person and what they are saying.  I saw a quote once that said something like “The first duty of love, is to listen” and I really like that.  Sometimes showing love to others isn’t only about what you do for them, it’s about just simply being truly present there with them in their own moment as they share.  And not only listening, but hearing.  Communicating well goes both ways, it’s not just about expressing your own self.

Anyway, I don’t really know what my point here is…

How’s that for communicating?!  Hahaha!

I guess I’m just feeling all mushy because I like it when I feel things when I’m watching a movie, and I’m wishing I could do such a thing as to inspire others and make them feel stuff too.

Ya know, we all have these blogs as a forum to express and share our thoughts, feelings, interests, etc. with others, and we can only hope that our posts affect and influence others in some way that touches their lives with meaning.  Well, that’s why I have mine anyway.  Whether I accomplish that or not still remains to be seen.  I have tons of drafts that I’ve never published because sometimes I’m embarrassed to share them, thinking “oh my followers don’t want to hear about that” or because I don’t want to be a depressing downer when I’m feeling low because I always want to be a source of light and encouragement to others.

But maybe, just maybe, all of that doesn’t really matter because the thing about the internet is that you just never know who may happen across your path (blog) and just perhaps what you may have to say on any given day (even the embarrassing or depressing stuff) could possibly make them feel something that makes all the difference in their day.  Even if it’s just a laugh,  just a tear, or even just a slight sense of relatedness, to have any sort of affect on another person by what I have to share is a big deal to me.

And one last thought…

It is my firm belief that words are powerful and should not be used carelessly.  Another quote comes to mind here…  “Words and hearts should be handled with care, for words when spoken and hearts when broken are the hardest things to repair.”