Mandala Monday ~ Heart for the City

Some of you may know that I live in the city of Minneapolis, and you may have heard what has been going on here over the past week.  Some of it may now also be affecting your communities.

My heart has been so troubled… I can’t really even formulate the words to describe the range of emotions I’ve been experiencing, but grief, anger and fear have been at the forefront.

Grief over the death of George Floyd, grief and anger over the racism, hatred and injustice that exists in our world; and grief, anger and fear over all of the violence, chaos and devastation sweeping over my city right now.

I don’t have the answers or a solution of how to fix anything.  But I do believe that our thoughts and emotions have energy that expands outside of ourselves and affects the world around us.  So I want to take care with the type of energy and vibes I’m putting out.  I don’t want my grief, anger and fear to add any fuel to the literal flames going on around me – I want to radiate peace and love out into my community, and out into the world.

Even though I feel very small and powerless to change anything, I have to believe it makes a difference somehow.  I can shift my focus and take these actions…

“Lord make me an instrument of Your Peace

Where there is hatred, let me sow Love

Where there is injury, Pardon

Where there is doubt, Faith

Where there is despair, Hope

 Where there is darkness, Light

Where there is sadness, Joy

Grant that I may not so much seek to be consoled, as to console 

Not so much to be understood, as to understand

Not so much to be loved, as to love…”

That is what I was meditating on as I made this mandala ~ making it heart-shaped as my heart went out to my city.  And making it with Bleeding Hearts felt pretty perfect…

 

My deepest sympathy to the family and friends of George Floyd.  Peace and Love to all the people of my city, and in the world, who are hurting.

 

 

✿~Peace & Love~✿

Talkative Tuesday

So, you guys know how I said that I haven’t been feeling very wordy lately?  Well, I think that is about to change today…

Don’t you miss the good old days when I first started this blog when I used to actually ‘ramble’ on ‘Ramblings’ from Jewels?  Or maybe you don’t haha!

Life is ever-evolving and I just try to go with the flow of whatever I’m feeling or thinking, or not.  One thing I always want this space to be is one of hope and joy and beauty.  I always want the energy I send out into the world through my blog, to be of benefit to others in some way, so I’m selective sometimes about what I choose to share.

When I write my poetry – or whatever you call it, I usually like to use the least amount of words to try to convey the deeper feelings and meanings, and my aim is to always be authentic and true to myself.  When I’m feeling despair or sadness, I tend to hold back sharing because I don’t want that emotion to trickle down onto to anyone else.  But sometimes if the words are still beautiful I might share.

But anyway, getting to the point…  Today I’m feeling very wordy and not feeling like being particularly careful about what I have to say. So here I go…

I had an old acquaintance message me this morning on Facebook asking how I’m doing.  It was very nice of her to check in.  However, she happened to catch me just as I had come back into the house after going out to investigate what the trash/debris was that I saw out on my side-yard from my kitchen window.  Do you guys want to know what it was?  Well, I’m going to tell you anyways…  it was a pair of soiled men’s briefs along with a huge wad of gas station paper towels all covered in feces.  Yep.

Well, hey, accidents happen, right?  I can’t think too harshly toward the person who left it there, right?  I should probably feel sorry for them, right?  I mean, it’s no pleasant thing to shit yourself, poor guy, right?  But when you add it to everything else that’s been going on lately – and there’s been a lot, mind you, that’s been going on around here, it set off a chain of rambling to this poor unsuspecting acquaintance who was just checking in to ask “How’s life been treating you?”  Well, like shit, actually, and quite literally, at the moment ha!

Yesterday, I placed an online order for my annuals and some of my herbs and veggies for my garden.  I’m so thankful for the garden centers offering curbside pick-up.  But it was hard, I had to let go and release of bit control, in not being the one to individually pick out each plant myself – and there were some scraggly and lesser quality plants that they had selected.  But I will give them the TLC I give all of my garden and will hopefully nurse them back to good health.  But I only mention that to tell you about what I discovered when I went out to my car to head out to pick up my order…  Someone had broken into my car.  And they had rifled through the glove-box and then left it open, so my car battery was dead.  Nice.  Thankfully, a good friend who lives nearby was able to come over and give me a jump.  The only funny part is that all they stole were some old CD’s out of my center console that were Christian Punk Rock music from like the 90’s haha!  My daughter used to listen to them in the car when she was in like 6th grade.  She’s 28. Yeah, I don’t know why those were still in my car…?  But haha thieves, have fun with those CD’s, I’m sure they’re worth a lot.  Not.  I’m just glad they didn’t find the stash of quarters I have hidden in a ‘secret’ compartment – there’s like 10 whole dollars in there!

The day before yesterday, I went down to my basement to get something and discovered the floor all around my washer and dryer covered in 2 inches of thick, gooey liquid.  Apparently, our giant industrial-sized jug of liquid laundry detergent had somehow fallen off the edge of the dryer and exploded all over onto the floor.  What a sticky, icky mess!  Not easy to clean up.  At all.  Luckily we had some dirty laundry in the clothes hamper down there that we could use to sop it up with.  But each load had to be run through the wash cycle 3 – 4 times to get all the detergent out and it still reeks of detergent.  It makes me wonder how ‘clean’ laundry really actually gets…

A few days before that, I was sitting up in my room having my morning coffee when I heard a noise below my window, like a crackling.  When I looked out I saw a guy taking off on his bike with a huge handful of branches from my rhododendron.  And when I went out to check on it I found a GAPING hole right smack in the middle of my bush.  Remember that ‘rather unsightly hole’ I mentioned in my last post?  Well, you don’t want to see it now – completely butchered.  Couldn’t the guy had taken some from one of the sides, like, just wow dude. I was super pissed!  I planted that shrub for my parents 20+ years ago. It was especially disheartening for me because I’ve been waiting sooooo long for the blooming things to return, like it was as if my soul depended on it, and then someone comes along and destroys the one thing in my yard that’s blooming.  Thankfully, there are more blooming things now – my lilacs are just about to bloom, and it’s only the beginning of the season of blooming things.  I’m thinking I might hang some sort of shiny bauble or maybe hang some sweet sounding little chimes to help pretty-up and fill that gaping hole.

This rambling is getting pretty long.  If you’re still reading, I appreciate you ‘listening.’

You may have noticed that I haven’t even mentioned anything that is going on that is related to COVID-19. Ugh, I hate even typing it.  Since it all began, I have purposely not wanted to give it any space on my blog and purposely haven’t shared about any of the ways it has affected my life.  I don’t know, like as a protest against it or something?  Not that that makes any sense whatsoever.  I guess I figure there’s already plenty of stuff about it everywhere else and I’d rather have my blog be a place to get away from it for a moment.  But I know it helps people to talk about it too.  Ugh, I don’t know.

I will share that I lost my job back in the beginning of April.  It was supposed to just be a furlough, but they decided to let me and around 100 other county employees go instead.  I can’t tell you how sad I was, I really liked my job.  Thankfully, I am being financially provided for temporarily – that was touch and go for a while though, very stressful.  And I know I’m not alone in that.

I’ve been through a wide range of emotions and I don’t know what tomorrow will bring, but at the end of it all, the emotion I feel the most right now is gratitude.

I may have poopie pants on my lawn, thieves breaking into my car, a dead battery, butchered shrubs, gooey liquid all over the floor, and no job, but…

Me and mine are safe and healthy, and that’s all that really matters.

 

I hope you and yours are too.

Thanks for letting me ramble today, I told you I was feeling wordy.  I sincerely appreciate you all.

 

Flower for your thoughts…

 

 

 

✿~Peace & Love~✿

Thankful Thursday

Whew what a week it’s been!  I can’t think of a more perfect time to reflect on all the things I’m thankful for…

 

Feeling grateful for these two beautiful people – my sister and brother-in-law…

for taking me to experience this beautiful place…

I’m still feeling all the aaahhh remembering.

I’m grateful for the random patron at the library who brought in tulips for all of the staff…

There’s nothing like fresh flowers in the midst of winter to remind you that spring will indeed come again. 🌷

I’m beyond grateful for this lovely – my daughter, who turned 28 this past Tuesday…

and grateful I was able to celebrate the day with her.  It may have been her birthday, but she’s the gift – to me, to her children, and to everyone who crosses her path.  Such a beautiful person, inside and out! 💕

I’m also grateful that I’ve kept various journals all these years, so that I can look back on gems like this from my daughter’s infancy…

Eeek! Hahaha!

And now for the reason for the “whew” I mentioned at the top of this post…

I’m grateful for my quick spring to action when our basement flooded the other day, and for the ability to channel my inner MacGyver, so I could rescue all of our family heirlooms from water damage.  You cannot imagine the horror and panic I felt when I stepped down into that ankle-deep water.  I was down there for hours trying to get things under control, it was a nightmare.  You’re probably not really going to be able to tell what is going on in this photo, but basically, I (with the help of my sister’s gigantic brain) rigged something up in the aftermath to direct the remaining water that was leaking from a cracked nut on the spigot on the main water pipe coming into the house to go directly into the floor drain.  The whole basement flooding thing is a long, long, long story, which will only exhaust you and make me have to relive it all, so let me just say…  A funnel, a hose, a half-full can of paint and two lasagna pans walked into a bar… 

with a measuring cup and some tape. 🙃

And I’m so grateful for this shiny new pipe the city came and installed…

For FREE!  On account that it was one of their employees who cracked that nut when he came several months ago to install a new water meter.  They couldn’t fit a new nut, so they ended up replacing the entire pipe (which I’m pretty sure ordinarily would not be free).  This one has a handy lever instead of a twist knob too.  Hopefully I’ll never have a reason to need to shut off the main water to the house again, but if I do, that lever will make it much easier.

I’m also grateful for creativity, and for the fun I had making beeswax candles with my family…

Not to mention the warmth, the light and the sweet scent I get to enjoy.

Lastly, I’m grateful for the moon, who follows me around everywhere and reminds me of the vastness of the universe…

and that I’m connected to it all…

 

 

I’m also grateful for all of you!  May you have lots to be thankful for today too!  Many blessing, my friends…

 

 

✿~Peace & Love~✿

Silent Sunday

Ordinarily I would only share a photo and not write anything when I entitle a post as “Silent Sunday,” but I just finished reading this book and somehow it still felt fitting…

It’s a book about silence, hence the ‘Silent Sunday’ – get it?  😉

I don’t know if I’ve ever mentioned to you guys that I work in a library.  Many various books pass through my fingers each shift that I work and this one literally shouted at me when I came across it.  Funny that a book about silence would “shout.”  But seriously, the vibes – I just knew I needed to read it… the feel of it in my hands, the soothing color, simplicity and minimalist design of its cover, and the smooth, creamy texture and thickness of its pages, all spoke to me.  (If you also have ‘a thing’ for books, you might relate to what I’m talking about there.)  But it was the subject matter that called to me the most…

Earlier this past spring I had been feeling an almost desperate need to escape and get out of the noisy city.  It’s one of the reasons I arranged several different little adventures for this summer.  (Except, after the extreme heat and high humidity we’ve had this summer, I have now decided that I’d prefer the majority of my future little adventures to be in the fall instead of summer.)  Although my adventures were mostly out of the inner city and out in nature, I still didn’t really feel like I escaped all the noise.  Traveling creates its own sort of ‘noise.’  But I did have little moments along the way when inner silence found me.  And that’s what we’re really talking about, isn’t it?  And that’s the main point of this book.

The inside front jacket cover reads: “What is silence? Where can it be found? Why is it now more important than ever?  In 1993, Norwegian explorer Erling Kagge spent fifty days walking solo across Antarctica, becoming the first person to reach the South Pole alone, accompanied only by a radio whose batteries he had removed before setting out.  In this book, an astonishing and transformative meditation, Kagge explores the silence around us, the silence within us, and the silence we must create.  By recounting his own experiences and discussing the observations of poets, artists, and explorers, Kagge shows us why silence is essential to our sanity and happiness – and how it can open doors to wonder and gratitude.”

It’s a different book than I’ve ever read before.  I’m not even sure how I would categorize it – I think I would call it philosophical more than anything else, and I enjoyed it very much.  It’s a short book, but one to read slowly, as to absorb all of the profound little nuggets of insight sprinkled throughout.

I had an interesting experience happen to me at one point while reading it.  I’m not entirely sure if it was related to what I was reading, but I suddenly experienced what I can only call a heightened sense of awareness.  I was reading it out on my patio – so, in this noisy city, when suddenly my sense of hearing changed.  All of the city noise became muffled and subdued, almost like my ears were plugged or I was under water, but it was only the ‘noise’ that was muffled.  It’s hard to explain… I could still hear completely clearly – the sound of the rustling of the trees was as clear as ever.  So I guess it was more like a shift in my awareness rather than a change in anything audible I was hearing or not hearing.  And there was an acute awareness of the plants in my garden, almost like I was sensing their life energy or something.  The big, heavy leaves of my zucchini were waving to me in the light breeze as if they ‘saw’ me.  I know that sounds weird haha!  I’ve had that happen to me one other time with regard to the trees.  I may have shared it here, I don’t remember, but it was a profound and deeply meaningful experience, and I was excited to have something similar to that happen again.  Like I said, I’m not sure if it was related to what I was reading or not, but it could’ve been.  Ya never know.  It could also just be that I’m weird…

Anyway, so I guess for this “Silent” Sunday I’m giving you guys a bit of a review on a book about silence.  And perhaps also a little insight into my weirdness!  🙃

 

Wishing you a wonderful, beautiful, blessed day!  May it be filled with moments of silence and peace.

 

My zucchini says “Hi!”

😉

 

 

✿~Peace & Love~✿

Bloom Like Flowers

 “The most precious gift we can offer anyone is our attention. When mindfulness embraces those we love, they will bloom like flowers.”

~ Thich Nhat Hanh

 

 

 

  

 

✿~Peace & Love~✿

Sunday Morning Senses

A distant motor hums

birds singing

trees swish in the breeze

 

Flowers blooming

an ant crawls

wispy clouds float across a blue sky

 

Fresh cut grass

an indistinct scent of flowers

damp wood mulch

 

Stiff, smooth pen between my fingers

the coolness of metal against the back of my bare arms

a faint breeze

 

Rich, flavorful herbal coffee

cocoa lip balm

a hint of floral somehow mingled in

 

© Julie Rehnelt 2019

 

~

 

Just a few observations as I checked in with my five senses this morning; grounding me in the present moment.

 

I don’t have a photo to share from my observations this morning, but here’s a random picture I snapped earlier this week as I enjoyed some peaceful moments by a stream…

 

Wishing you peaceful moments today…

 

 

✿~Peace & Love~✿

Welcome June

Each morning as I sit down with my coffee and pick up my gratitude journal to write, the first thing I write down is the date.  Dates often evoke certain memories in me.  Does this ever happen to you?  Earlier this morning as I wrote June 1st, 2019, my first thought was “Welcome June!”  I love the beginning of a new month, and I love the month of June!

Here in Minnesota, June typically means that the danger of frost has indeed passed and gardening season truly gets underway.  The temps warm up, but it’s usually not quite up to the harsh heat and humidity of summer yet.  It’s like October in reverse, when the temps begin to cool, but not yet to the point of a hard frost and the days are still warm and sunny.  Not to mention, October is when the leaves start changing. Yep… October and June are my favorite months out of the year.  And September and May are close behind.  But sometimes September is still too hot and May is still too cold.  But May is a freaking bloomfest, so it’s okay that it’s still a bit cold.  I actually don’t mind the cold.  Maybe my favorite months are October and May, but I love June too.  Anyways, I’m rambling now…

Right after I had my “Welcome June!” thought, my very next thought was “June 3rd of this year would have been my 30th wedding anniversary.”  Ugh, didn’t want to go there.  Especially since I’m about to write in my gratitude journal.  But I decided to stop there and allow myself to ponder, to check in with myself and allow whatever emotions to arise.  Needless to say, there were a wide range of emotions, even with it being nearly 10 years since we split …

I’m not going to exhaust myself or bother you in relaying all of them, but I did want to share a text I got from my sister when I shared with her about it, because although it was just a simple thing she said, it felt quite profound to me and it was a good reminder.

Just for a bit of background… The 8:05 I have at the beginning of my text to her is a weird thing between my sister and I.  Usually it’s at 8:14 or 11:27 – our birthday dates that we’ll send a text to each other.  I don’t know why we do it, it’s just a thing we do if we happen to notice the time on the clock.  I almost always get a text from her at 8:14 in the morning, and you’ll notice her reply is at 8:15.  I guarantee you that she picked up her phone at 8:14 to text me, when she saw my text at 8:05 and then it took her a minute to type.  Speaking of the 8:05, once in a while we’ll still put the time at the beginning of other texts for no reason, just to be extra weird…

What I love the most is the end of her text – “Wait, it’s only June 1st, it sounds like you are in the past and the future at the same time… please join me in the present.”  Gosh you guys, how often do we do that?  Seriously!  Still!  Even though we know that the present is where to live and be.  I’m constantly grounding myself in the present moment.

But the mind… it’s always going isn’t it?  And we need our minds.  Haha oh God knows we do!  And I’m thankful for my mind.  I’m thankful it works properly.  And that is not to be taken for granted – some people’s minds don’t work properly, and they suffer so.  Sometimes we can cause ourselves a different type of suffering too, by allowing our minds to transport us into the past or the future and then lingering there too long.

Do you know what I’m realizing right now though that was kinda cool about all this too?  When I said that I allowed myself to ponder, to check in with myself and allow whatever emotions to arise… I was actually more of an observer this time.  And that’s the key!  I’ve heard/read many times that we should allow these things (our emotions/thoughts) to arise, but to be an observer of them.  And that is actually more of how this was.  I am not usually an observer of my emotions, I usually feel every. single. one.  Omygosh am I evolving?  Or maybe it was the text from my sister that snapped me out of it haha!  😉

When I came back to the present moment I noticed a Catbird mewing.  There is this one Catbird who always comes around and kinda sounds like its saying my name… “Jewy, Jewy.”  Sounds like Julie to me.  So then I sent this and my sister, who also has Catbirds at her place too…

I truly lol’d at that last bit!  For a good couple of minutes afterward too!  I love my sister’s sense of humor!  It matches my own!  I’m giggling now…

Maybe that can be a reminder… whenever I heard a Catbird saying my name I can check in with myself and make sure I’m staying in the present moment…

Birds all over the world are calling my name right now!  Hahahaha!

 

Welcome June!  🌼  Here’s to staying in the present…

 

 

 

✿~Peace & Love~✿

 

Thoughts on a Thursday with Rumi

“What is the Heart? 

A flower opening” 

 

Rumi

 

 

Do you think the flower was afraid, to open?  I mean, sure, there’s the warm, radiant sunlight to bask in, the lovely breeze to caress its petals, but there’s also rain, hail, and even snow that can hurt, destroy and devastate – and we all know that you can’t trust the weather…

To open your heart is to be vulnerable, and who can we trust?  Who will nourish it and cherish it, who will appreciate and celebrate its deep mysteries and beauty?

I don’t know and I feel afraid.  But like the flower, it is in my nature to open…

 

 

 

May the warm sunlight and a lovely breeze find you wherever you are today…

 

 

 

 

✿~Peace & Love~✿

Morning Has Broken

I awake to the sound of rain gently pattering on the rooftop above me

birdsong drifts in through my open window

My eyes open to a dreary light

no sunrise with the rain 

Outside is drab and colorless, oh how I long for the return of green

As I stare out the window, a chaotic mess of tangled, twisted tree branches greets me

they seem to mirror my busy, scattered thoughts on this a.m

But I focus on the bird sounds

breathe in the fresh air wafting in through the window

I feel grateful the temperature is mild enough to even have the window open

grateful for ears to hear the bird’s sweet voices

grateful for the breath in my lungs

Traffic sounds increase, people who’ve awoken before me and are already in their cars hurrying off to their various places

I wonder if they heard the birds singing upon arising, or instead awoke to the blaring sound of an alarm clock

I feel grateful once again

grateful that I can awake gently, according to my own body clock 

Church bells ring in the distance

One noisy sparrow looks in at me through the window and begins squawking at me, as if saying “Get up, get up, early bird catches the worm!”

I have no worms that need catching, but I could use some coffee

and there’s a hungry cat meowing outside my door

So I arise

Morning has broken

 

© Julie Rehnelt 2019

 

I have no photo to share with this, but a song comes to mind…

Everything is a song…

 

Be blessed and have a lovely day!

 

 

✿~Peace & Love~✿

 

Silent Sunday – Paddling Down Memory Lane

 

 

 

 

✿~Peace & Love~✿