Tag Archives: Thoughts

Talkative Tuesday

So, you guys know how I said that I haven’t been feeling very wordy lately?  Well, I think that is about to change today…

Don’t you miss the good old days when I first started this blog when I used to actually ‘ramble’ on Ramblings’ from Jewels?  Or maybe you don’t haha!

Life is ever-evolving and I just try to go with the flow of whatever I’m feeling or thinking, or not.  One thing I always want this space to be is one of hope and joy and beauty.  I always want the energy I send out into the world through my blog, to be of benefit to others in some way, so I’m selective sometimes about what I choose to share.

When I write my poetry – or whatever you call it, I usually like to use the least amount of words to try to convey the deeper feelings and meanings, and my aim is to always be authentic and true to myself.  When I’m feeling despair or sadness, I tend to hold back sharing because I don’t want that emotion to trickle down onto to anyone else.  But sometimes if the words are still beautiful I might share.

But anyway, getting to the point…  Today I’m feeling very wordy and not feeling like being particularly careful about what I have to say. So here I go…

I had an old acquaintance message me this morning on Facebook asking how I’m doing.  It was very nice of her to check in.  However, she happened to catch me just as I had come back into the house after going out to investigate what the trash/debris was that I saw out on my side-yard from my kitchen window.  Do you guys want to know what it was?  Well, I’m going to tell you anyways…  it was a pair of soiled men’s briefs along with a huge wad of gas station paper towels all covered in feces.  Yep.

Well, hey, accidents happen, right?  I can’t think too harshly toward the person who left it there, right?  I should probably feel sorry for them, right?  I mean, it’s no pleasant thing to shit yourself, poor guy, right?  But when you add it to everything else that’s been going on lately – and there’s been a lot, mind you, that’s been going on around here, it set off a chain of rambling to this poor unsuspecting acquaintance who was just checking in to ask “How’s life been treating you?”  Well, like shit, actually, and quite literally, at the moment ha!

Yesterday, I placed an online order for my annuals and some of my herbs and veggies for my garden.  I’m so thankful for the garden centers offering curbside pick-up.  But it was hard, I had to let go and release of bit control, in not being the one to individually pick out each plant myself – and there were some scraggly and lesser quality plants that they had selected.  But I will give them the TLC I give all of my garden and will hopefully nurse them back to good health.  But I only mention that to tell you about what I discovered when I went out to my car to head out to pick up my order…  Someone had broken into my car.  And they had rifled through the glove-box and then left it open, so my car battery was dead.  Nice.  Thankfully, a good friend who lives nearby was able to come over and give me a jump.  The only funny part is that all they stole were some old CD’s out of my center console that were Christian Punk Rock music from like the 90’s haha!  My daughter used to listen to them in the car when she was in like 6th grade.  She’s 28. Yeah, I don’t know why those were still in my car…?  But haha thieves, have fun with those CD’s, I’m sure they’re worth a lot.  Not.  I’m just glad they didn’t find the stash of quarters I have hidden in a ‘secret’ compartment – there’s like 10 whole dollars in there!

The day before yesterday, I went down to my basement to get something and discovered the floor all around my washer and dryer covered in 2 inches of thick, gooey liquid.  Apparently, our giant industrial-sized jug of liquid laundry detergent had somehow fallen off the edge of the dryer and exploded all over onto the floor.  What a sticky, icky mess!  Not easy to clean up.  At all.  Luckily we had some dirty laundry in the clothes hamper down there that we could use to sop it up with.  But each load had to be run through the wash cycle 3 – 4 times to get all the detergent out and it still reeks of detergent.  It makes me wonder how ‘clean’ laundry really actually gets…

A few days before that, I was sitting up in my room having my morning coffee when I heard a noise below my window, like a crackling.  When I looked out I saw a guy taking off on his bike with a huge handful of branches from my rhododendron.  And when I went out to check on it I found a GAPING hole right smack in the middle of my bush.  Remember that ‘rather unsightly hole’ I mentioned in my last post?  Well, you don’t want to see it now – completely butchered.  Couldn’t the guy had taken some from one of the sides, like, just wow dude. I was super pissed!  I planted that shrub for my parents 20+ years ago. It was especially disheartening for me because I’ve been waiting sooooo long for the blooming things to return, like it was as if my soul depended on it, and then someone comes along and destroys the one thing in my yard that’s blooming.  Thankfully, there are more blooming things now – my lilacs are just about to bloom, and it’s only the beginning of the season of blooming things.  I’m thinking I might hang some sort of shiny bauble or maybe hang some sweet sounding little chimes to help pretty-up and fill that gaping hole.

This rambling is getting pretty long.  If you’re still reading, I appreciate you ‘listening.’

You may have noticed that I haven’t even mentioned anything that is going on that is related to COVID-19. Ugh, I hate even typing it.  Since it all began, I have purposely not wanted to give it any space on my blog and purposely haven’t shared about any of the ways it has affected my life.  I don’t know, like as a protest against it or something?  Not that that makes any sense whatsoever.  I guess I figure there’s already plenty of stuff about it everywhere else and I’d rather have my blog be a place to get away from it for a moment.  But I know it helps people to talk about it too.  Ugh, I don’t know.

I will share that I lost my job back in the beginning of April.  It was supposed to just be a furlough, but they decided to let me and around 100 other county employees go instead.  I can’t tell you how sad I was, I really liked my job.  Thankfully, I am being financially provided for temporarily – that was touch and go for a while though, very stressful.  And I know I’m not alone in that.

I’ve been through a wide range of emotions and I don’t know what tomorrow will bring, but at the end of it all, the emotion I feel the most right now is gratitude.

I may have poopie pants on my lawn, thieves breaking into my car, a dead battery, butchered shrubs, gooey liquid all over the floor, and no job, but…

Me and mine are safe and healthy, and that’s all that really matters.

 

I hope you and yours are too.

Thanks for letting me ramble today, I told you I was feeling wordy.  I sincerely appreciate you all.

 

Flower for your thoughts…

 

 

 

✿~Peace & Love~✿

Peace and Love 1

Thankful Thursday

Whew what a week it’s been!  I can’t think of a more perfect time to reflect on all the things I’m thankful for…

 

Feeling grateful for these two beautiful people – my sister and brother-in-law…

for taking me to experience this beautiful place…

I’m still feeling all the aaahhh remembering.

I’m grateful for the random patron at the library who brought in tulips for all of the staff…

There’s nothing like fresh flowers in the midst of winter to remind you that spring will indeed come again. 🌷

I’m beyond grateful for this lovely – my daughter, who turned 28 this past Tuesday…

and grateful I was able to celebrate the day with her.  It may have been her birthday, but she’s the gift – to me, to her children, and to everyone who crosses her path.  Such a beautiful person, inside and out! 💕

I’m also grateful that I’ve kept various journals all these years, so that I can look back on gems like this from my daughter’s infancy…

Eeek! Hahaha!

And now for the reason for the “whew” I mentioned at the top of this post…

I’m grateful for my quick spring to action when our basement flooded the other day, and for the ability to channel my inner MacGyver, so I could rescue all of our family heirlooms from water damage.  You cannot imagine the horror and panic I felt when I stepped down into that ankle-deep water.  I was down there for hours trying to get things under control, it was a nightmare.  You’re probably not really going to be able to tell what is going on in this photo, but basically, I (with the help of my sister’s gigantic brain) rigged something up in the aftermath to direct the remaining water that was leaking from a cracked nut on the spigot on the main water pipe coming into the house to go directly into the floor drain.  The whole basement flooding thing is a long, long, long story, which will only exhaust you and make me have to relive it all, so let me just say…  A funnel, a hose, a half-full can of paint and two lasagna pans walked into a bar… 

with a measuring cup and some tape. 🙃

And I’m so grateful for this shiny new pipe the city came and installed…

For FREE!  On account that it was one of their employees who cracked that nut when he came several months ago to install a new water meter.  They couldn’t fit a new nut, so they ended up replacing the entire pipe (which I’m pretty sure ordinarily would not be free).  This one has a handy lever instead of a twist knob too.  Hopefully I’ll never have a reason to need to shut off the main water to the house again, but if I do, that lever will make it much easier.

I’m also grateful for creativity, and for the fun I had making beeswax candles with my family…

Not to mention the warmth, the light and the sweet scent I get to enjoy.

Lastly, I’m grateful for the moon, who follows me around everywhere and reminds me of the vastness of the universe…

and that I’m connected to it all…

 

 

I’m also grateful for all of you!  May you have lots to be thankful for today too!  Many blessing, my friends…

 

 

✿~Peace & Love~✿

Peace and Love 1

Spirals

In the garden of my mind

many thoughts intertwine

 

and in my heart emotions swirl

joys and sorrows all unfurl

 

The journey of change as life unfolds

leads me back to Source where peace flows

 

© Julie Rehnelt 2019

 

Just creating spirals with flowers in my garden while I work some things out…

Spending time in nature and being creative is always good for working things out, don’t you agree?!

 

Wishing you joy and beauty today!

 

 

 

✿~Peace & Love~✿

Peace and Love 1

Welcome June

Each morning as I sit down with my coffee and pick up my gratitude journal to write, the first thing I write down is the date.  Dates often evoke certain memories in me.  Does this ever happen to you?  Earlier this morning as I wrote June 1st, 2019, my first thought was “Welcome June!”  I love the beginning of a new month, and I love the month of June!

Here in Minnesota, June typically means that the danger of frost has indeed passed and gardening season truly gets underway.  The temps warm up, but it’s usually not quite up to the harsh heat and humidity of summer yet.  It’s like October in reverse, when the temps begin to cool, but not yet to the point of a hard frost and the days are still warm and sunny.  Not to mention, October is when the leaves start changing. Yep… October and June are my favorite months out of the year.  And September and May are close behind.  But sometimes September is still too hot and May is still too cold.  But May is a freaking bloomfest, so it’s okay that it’s still a bit cold.  I actually don’t mind the cold.  Maybe my favorite months are October and May, but I love June too.  Anyways, I’m rambling now…

Right after I had my “Welcome June!” thought, my very next thought was “June 3rd of this year would have been my 30th wedding anniversary.”  Ugh, didn’t want to go there.  Especially since I’m about to write in my gratitude journal.  But I decided to stop there and allow myself to ponder, to check in with myself and allow whatever emotions to arise.  Needless to say, there were a wide range of emotions, even with it being nearly 10 years since we split …

I’m not going to exhaust myself or bother you in relaying all of them, but I did want to share a text I got from my sister when I shared with her about it, because although it was just a simple thing she said, it felt quite profound to me and it was a good reminder.

Just for a bit of background… The 8:05 I have at the beginning of my text to her is a weird thing between my sister and I.  Usually it’s at 8:14 or 11:27 – our birthday dates that we’ll send a text to each other.  I don’t know why we do it, it’s just a thing we do if we happen to notice the time on the clock.  I almost always get a text from her at 8:14 in the morning, and you’ll notice her reply is at 8:15.  I guarantee you that she picked up her phone at 8:14 to text me, when she saw my text at 8:05 and then it took her a minute to type.  Speaking of the 8:05, once in a while we’ll still put the time at the beginning of other texts for no reason, just to be extra weird…

What I love the most is the end of her text – “Wait, it’s only June 1st, it sounds like you are in the past and the future at the same time… please join me in the present.”  Gosh you guys, how often do we do that?  Seriously!  Still!  Even though we know that the present is where to live and be.  I’m constantly grounding myself in the present moment.

But the mind… it’s always going isn’t it?  And we need our minds.  Haha oh God knows we do!  And I’m thankful for my mind.  I’m thankful it works properly.  And that is not to be taken for granted – some people’s minds don’t work properly, and they suffer so.  Sometimes we can cause ourselves a different type of suffering too, by allowing our minds to transport us into the past or the future and then lingering there too long.

Do you know what I’m realizing right now though that was kinda cool about all this too?  When I said that I allowed myself to ponder, to check in with myself and allow whatever emotions to arise… I was actually more of an observer this time.  And that’s the key!  I’ve heard/read many times that we should allow these things (our emotions/thoughts) to arise, but to be an observer of them.  And that is actually more of how this was.  I am not usually an observer of my emotions, I usually feel every. single. one.  Omygosh am I evolving?  Or maybe it was the text from my sister that snapped me out of it haha!  😉

When I came back to the present moment I noticed a Catbird mewing.  There is this one Catbird who always comes around and kinda sounds like its saying my name… “Jewy, Jewy.”  Sounds like Julie to me.  So then I sent this and my sister, who also has Catbirds at her place too…

I truly lol’d at that last bit!  For a good couple of minutes afterward too!  I love my sister’s sense of humor!  It matches my own!  I’m giggling now…

Maybe that can be a reminder… whenever I heard a Catbird saying my name I can check in with myself and make sure I’m staying in the present moment…

Birds all over the world are calling my name right now!  Hahahaha!

 

Welcome June!  🌼  Here’s to staying in the present…

 

 

 

✿~Peace & Love~✿

Peace and Love 1

 

Thoughts on a Thursday with Rumi

“What is the Heart? 

A flower opening” 

 

Rumi

 

 

Do you think the flower was afraid, to open?  I mean, sure, there’s the warm, radiant sunlight to bask in, the lovely breeze to caress its petals, but there’s also rain, hail, and even snow that can hurt, destroy and devastate – and we all know that you can’t trust the weather…

To open your heart is to be vulnerable, and who can we trust?  Who will nourish it and cherish it, who will appreciate and celebrate its deep mysteries and beauty?

I don’t know and I feel afraid.  But like the flower, it is in my nature to open…

 

 

 

May the warm sunlight and a lovely breeze find you wherever you are today…

 

 

 

 

✿~Peace & Love~✿

Peace and Love 1

Thoughts on a Monday

 

Don’t let your dreams

get crowded out by weeds

Clear away the debris 

and set them free

 

© Julie Rehnelt 2018

 

I know my little rhyme is a bit on the cheesy side, but it’s what sprang to mind when I noticed my blue rock with the word Dream carved on it getting crowded by weeds in my garden…

I like to keep a more natural look to my garden, and actually allow some of what are considered to be ‘weeds’ grow in my garden.  But I have a few weeds crowding out my dreams in the garden of my life right now and I’m feeling like it might be time to do some weeding there.

Now, to figure out how to go about doing that…

Any ideas?  How do you ‘clear away the debris’?

 

Just some thoughts for you on a Monday…

 

 

✿~Peace & Love~✿

Peace and Love 1

Brain Surgery

I’ve been giving a lot of thought lately as to what career path I should take, and last night I had a dream that I was performing brain surgery.  Apparently, I had become a neurosurgeon?   But I had no clue what I was doing and faked my way through the whole thing.  It felt so wrong.  I was so happy and relieved afterward that the guy was okay that I held his face in my hands and cried.  Even though it all turned out okay, I think it’s safe to say that there’s no future for me in neurosurgery.

Other things happened in the dream too that give me cause to ponder and reflect on, but what I come away with in the end, is that I should do something that feels authentic to me.  Something that I am equipped for and gifted at – unlike brain surgery.  There’s a no-brainer.   😉

Ever since my divorce back in 2011, I’ve been wondering what I should do with my life.  Thankfully, I’ve had an income from my divorce settlement, so I’ve been able to take the time to try and figure that out.  But the interesting thing is…  that while I’ve been wondering what I should do with my life, I’ve realized that I’ve already been doing it all along.  Living each day, being open, listening.  And I’m so grateful for all of the experiences that I’ve had over these past 6 years – even the sad ones, because I’ve grown so much through it all.  But the time is nearing that my settlement will go down to an amount that is no longer sufficient to support me financially, so I will need to find a job.  It’s exciting and daunting at the same time, and I’ve been thinking a lot about what to do.  What to do, what to do?  I might need brain surgery after thinking so hard trying to figure it out.

A few of you know, but I haven’t shared here publicly yet about the total knee replacement surgery I underwent this past September.  The recovery has been really slow, gosh what an ordeal it’s been for me, like seriously, wow, but the surgery went very smoothly and I haven’t had any complications, so for that I am truly grateful.  I’m scheduled to have my second knee replaced at the end of February, and my hope is that once I’ve recovered, I will have more job opportunities available to me with two fully functioning knees.  The sky is the limit really, and I’m completely open.

Well, open unless it includes performing brain surgery.  😉

But hey, maybe the meaning of my dream was more about how I can do anything – even brain surgery.

 

 

 

✿~Peace & Love~✿

Peace and Love 1

Wordless Wednesday

 

Because sometimes it’s the non-words that describe things the best…

 

I think we would all do well to make this sound more often about a good many things, don’t you?

“From the mouths of babes…”

🙂

 

✿~Peace & Love~✿

Peace and Love 1

Crisscross

 

Like the frost patterns on my window

thoughts intersect

A maze of invisible lines passing back and forth, through and over

meeting, separating

in a vast network system of connections and fragments

tracing off at odd angles in different directions

and then converging again all at once

crisscross

in my mind

 

© Julie Rehnelt 2016

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And then I breathe deeply, quieting them all

and simply enjoy the beauty of the frost patterns on my window.

 

Of which there’s been plenty of over the past few days.  The cold weather here has finally set in and Jack frost has been up to his old tricks breathing lovely patterns on my windows during the night.  I haven’t had my real camera to capture them with though because I forgot it at my sister’s, so these that I snapped with my new phone will have to do…

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Stay warm my friends, may your day be filled with quieted thoughts and loud beauty…

 

 

 

✿~Peace & Love~✿

Peace and Love 1

When It’s Time

 

Weary of feeling numb and void of creativity, I asked my sister

“When am I going to get my inspiration back?”

“When it’s time.  She answered  Perhaps tomorrow.”

My sister is so wise.

 

That must be why I try to be just like her…

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Matching shirts for Christmas!  😉

 

 

Thanks for the inspiration, sis!  ❤

And thank you to all of you for being on this journey with me…

 

Here’s to inspiration, and to tomorrow ~ Happy New Year!

 

 

✿~Peace & Love~✿

Peace and Love 1