Oh Christmas Tree

Coffee in hand (or on desk as I type, actually.  Point is… nearby for sipping),    daily devotional read, cats fed, now to get motivated for the day…

So what’s on the agenda?

Putting up the Christmas tree.  Definitely experiencing some significant degree of difficulty motivating myself for that this year…

I’ve always loved Christmas.  Absolutely everything about it.  But my holiday cheer is at an all-time low this year.  Hey that rhymes!  It could be a newspaper headline: “Read all about it!  Holiday cheer at an all time low this year.”  I don’t know… I just make this stuff up as I go along you know.

So I wonder… what would this article say?  Should I try writing this in the 3rd person and make it like a newspaper article just to make it interesting?  Might be fun, but I’m afraid I haven’t got quite enough creative writing juices flowing just yet.  Maybe another time.  Another place.  Hah!  I’m hearing Rod Sterling’s intro to the Twilight Zone in my head right now!   I have no idea how my brain synapses just managed to link the Twilight Zone into that, but it is, what it is.  Here… join me in my oddness…

Geez I’m such a freak!  Hey cut me some slack, I’m still nursing my first cup of coffee here.  And I did mention in an earlier post that everything reminds me of a line from a movie, a song, or a TV commercial.  And also that I interrupt myself in the middle of a thought.  So before I went traveling off into the Twilight Zone, I was talking about motivating myself to put up the Christmas tree…

I’ve had a pretty rough couple of years here and without going into detail, it has been a real struggle to figure out what the heck my life is even about.  Everything I thought it was has had to be reevaluated.  And I haven’t finished analyzing it yet.  I’ll have to get back to you on that.  But the point is… hard stuff going on in your life affects your holiday cheer (among other things).

So where can I draw from to try and get a little bit of that back ~ my holiday cheer?  I’m not feeling especially inspired enough at the moment to come up with much, but one thing I can do is take the focus off of myself and put it onto others. Instead of going inward and contemplating everything going on in my life, all the loss and pain, maybe I suck it up and stuff all that junk into the far recesses of my thoughts (I can always come back to it later right?).

I’ll focus on my beautiful daughter ~ who loves Christmas.  I did that to her, I’m sure of it.  (Among other things which will inevitably surface at some point.)  Hopefully she doesn’t become disillusioned later when the struggles of life try and snuff out the excitement and anticipation of Christmas.  She’s the one gnawing at me about putting up the Christmas tree today.  Heh… gnawing!  So I’ll suck it up.  For her.  And also for my dear Mother who I have been sooo lucky and blessed to have as my Mom.  This will be her first Christmas without her husband of 52 years.  We lost my Pops to cancer this past June.  It has been a very difficult time for all of us, but I think most of all for her.  And I’ll focus on my sister.  My bestest friend in this whole wide world!  I honestly don’t know where I’d be without her.  Her insight and wisdom over the years has been invaluable to me ~ as has been her love and friendship.

Yep, these 3 precious people.  I’ll focus on them.  And on doing what I can to help make their Christmas meaningful.  Which immediately at hand means… getting off this computer and putting up the Christmas tree.

The moral of this story:

One way to muster up a little bit of holiday cheer = taking the focus off of yourself and putting it onto others.  Suck it up!